Introduction & About Me

About Me:

My name is Hannah, and I hail from the tropical state of Kerala in South of India. We call it 'God's Own Country' because man, it is the most beautiful place on Earth with the BEST food. At least, in my (slightly) biased view. At the age of 9, I was transported across the Arabian Sea to the Concrete Jungle of Dubai, where I did my schooling. My teenage years were in the early 2010s when technology and social media were just beginning to become a part of everyday life. Although my skin was brown and I spoke Indian English, I grew up consuming mostly Western Media, American movies, and Mainstream pop songs. The American Dream and Western way of life was sold to me since my teenage years, and I was successfully colonized.

My ancestral land - a heavenly tropical paradise.

Science & Medicine:

My childhood was spent reading encyclopedias and nature books, and I spent hours dwelling on the nature of my little existence, evolution and the mysteries of the universe. My mind was curious and I loved science. Science was my biggest passion, and I did well in my education - top grades. I liked biology. The perfect trifecta for a career in Medicine - A love for Science, Top Grades, and being Indian. And, that I did - as an obedient child I found my way into a good medical school in India where I spent 6 years studying to become a doctor. I thoroughly enjoyed the first two years of medicine where we delved into the workings of the human body, but slowly I started to become disillusioned. The 3rd and 4th years just seemed to be superficial, about rote learning.  I learnt that diseases did not have cures. I started visiting clinics and seeing patients dying from chronic disease - getting worse with time and being piled on prescriptions of pills that didn't seem to work or even improve their quality of life. I was a pure sceptic - I only 'believed' in 'Science'. Watching doctors in the hospital, I noticed most of them were unhappy, bitter and unhealthy with pot bellies. Hmm, what was I going to do with my life? At this time, I tried to hold on to my precious ambition of becoming a 'successful' and 'prestigious' doctor in the United States, but that dream was slipping away as my long-distance relationship with my partner in England got more serious. Stress about the 'Future' and 'Career' brought a lot of anxiety into my life, coupled with the toxic hyper-competitiveness of medical school.

Battling Endometriosis, IBS, Eating Disorder and Diet Culture:

I never had a good relationship with my body - the body dysmorphia and need to look 'skinny' started at the age of 12. I started dieting at the age of 12. Stopped eating fat and red meat at that time, because I wanted to be thin. But it was only when I reached India that I really started to diet - counted every single calorie, eating 1000-1200 calories a day and exercising like a rabbit on the treadmill. Eating no fat, just whole grains and vegan protein powders because I went to the gym. Of course, I would binge and then purge. Nobody knew. It was a vicious cycle. The health issues were piling on - brain fog, anxiety, breast lumps, painful period cramps, acne, daily headaches, chronic constipation with complications, acid reflux. It was getting worse - there were points in my life where I was in pain every single day, and living on painkillers to survive. Chronic abdominal pain. I would fear and dread my period days - 7-8 Mefenamic Acids, even that stopped working and the only thing that helped was passing out. I would force myself to pass out and that would help. Intense bloody diarrhoea and cramping, Urinary Incontinence - I LITERALLY THOUGHT I WOULD DIE. I had an acid reflux episode once where I got admitted to the Emergency Department thinking I had a HEART ATTACK. This was due to fear about 'failure' in my career. 

Attempting to seek help from Doctors:

My breast lumps were my first sign of worry - the doctors said that it's all okay, and I'm just learning about health issues in my MBBS, so I'm just imagining things. Okay, then why did my breasts hurt before my periods?

Acid Reflux? Daily antacids.

Constipation? Lactulose (which made the gas and cramping worse, and also NOT good for dysmorphia)

Period Cramps? Painkillers (which are bad for your gut)

Headaches? More painkillers.

Anxiety and Depression? Oh, that's just in my head. To be fair, I asked a Psychiatrist and she said I seem fine and I should keep myself busy!

Acne? Retinol cream that made my skin peel off like crazy.

After realizing I couldn't get help from doctors, I decided to do a panel of tests on myself - hormone levels, CA-125 and everything. Everything was normal except my thyroid panel.

I was contemplating suicide..

It was better to die than to live in that kind of pain every day. I thought I was doing everything I could - eating the HEALTHIEST diet possible. Whole grains, Lentils, Vegetables, Fruits. No fats whatsoever, except vegetable oils in small quantities. Low-fat protein bars. No meat, egg yolks. Occasional chicken breast. Still I couldn't lose weight. Still I was constipated. Still I was always hungry. The body dysmorphia was worsened due to the bloating caused by all the medications. I was unable to go to the gym, as I had no energy to do so. I also realized that it is counter-productive if I hated my body so much.

Yoga has allowed me to finally feel safe in my body, allowing me to explore other forms of movement!

Accidentally finding healing due to Influencers?.. During the pandemic, I accidentally did a yoga class online with my sister. I had never felt so much peace and calm and comfort in my body. 'What is this?' I asked. 'Yoga' she replied. I was curious and needed to know more. I started practicing asana everyday, and naturally became more health conscious, and started following health influencers. My body dysmorphia DISAPPEARED with 3 months of consistent yoga practice. I was able to go to the gym again without it limiting me. I found a health influencer saying vegetable oils cause inflammation. I stopped using it. No vegetable oil meant I had to stop eating most processed foods as well.. I switched to dangerous saturated fats coconut oil and ghee. The next period - was bearable. I didn't need painkillers.. I was shocked but VERY angry. How could this be? Around the same time, a lot of the vegan influencers I was following started to eat meat again.

Moving to England .. Moving to England to be with my boyfriend, I spent time doing lots of research on health and nutrition, through health influencers. After trying 100s of diets and supplements, I was able to completely reverse all of my health issues through a few basic methods. My diet was a big part of my healing journey - I switched to a seed-oil free high fat, low carbohydrate diet as per Cate Shanahan's Deep Nutrition. The weight came off effortlessly. I felt satiated after 12 years of low-fat vegan eating. The constipation and IBS resolved. I started feeling energized again. My skin started to glow, and I couldn't believe how amazing I was feeling. My repeat Thyroid Tests came back normal. And most of all, I was eating delicious fatty meat! It has taken me years to process the trauma of chronic disease, and the anger I have against the governments and establishments for propagating the lies they do.

My skin at 19 VS My skin at 27; eating low fat vs high fat.

BEFORE: Eating a low fat, 1200 calorie vegan high-protein diet. 
AFTER: Eating a high fat diet of 2500+ calories, All health issues in remission
Exercising similarly in both pictures. But in the 1st picture I'm exercising to look good, 2nd one to become strong!

Researching the 'Science' on Dietary Fat, Obesity and Cholesterol ..

How could a diet that reversed all my health issues cause heart attacks?

In trying to answer that question, I spent months digging and digging into the research, papers and evidence. In the process, I became a passionate anti-capitalist and started to reject modernity and civilization as a whole. I am also actively working to decolonize my mind and learn from indigenous and ancestral ways of life.

So, in this blog I will share all of my research on heart disease, cholesterol, obesity, diabetes & a few other bits and bobs - philosophy, anarchism, spirituality, and fitness etc.

I also love cooking, so I might share some paleo/keto/ancestral recipes here!

ENJOY & STAY CURIOUS.

Love, 

Hannah